|Cowboy Poetry and Western Verse
THE OUTPATIENTS LAMENTI WISH I WAS A COWBOY!
I wish I was a cowboy, out ridin on the range,
Then broken bones and aching backs wouldnt seem so strange.
I wish I was a cowboy, Id spit Pain in the eye,
You wouldnt hear me whimper or wail or even cry.
I wish I was a cowboy, all bronzed and tough and bold,
I wouldnt feel the blazin sun, Id laugh at frozen cold.
I wish I was a cowboy, my gut would feel no pain,
Id ride out in the howlin winds and head into the rain.
I wish I was a cowboy, no twingeing muscles sore,
No wimp who whispers, Poor ol me!
Id live the frontier lore.
I wish I was a cowboy, at broken bones Id scoff,
And if my foot got really bad,
WhyId shoot the damn thing off!
The truth is Im no cowboy, my bellys soft as jello,
I feel the aches and pains and groan
Cos Im a sad, sad fellow.
Theres not a day that passes by that I dont grieve and bitch
About my many creakin joints, dyspepsia and the itch.
I wake up with a promise, each morn I make a vow
But then . . . Im not a cowboy, more like a bleedin cow,
For when I feel an ache or pain, in head, or butt, or thigh,
I start to think of that pine box cos sure Im gonna die.
And een tho the medic says theres naught for me to dread,
Im such a wussa scaredy puss, all day I stay in bed.
So, here I am awaitin, once more my leg is numb,
I think it may be gangrene and its spreading to my thumb.
Oh, yes, I wish I was a cowboy, Id meet the doc and say,
Get thee from me, sissy pants, I dont need you today!
But then . . . I am no cowpoke, so Ill sit and wait my turn
To gripe and fret about my leg and moan about my burn.
So, there you have it, my good friends,
The cowboy is my hero,
And should next life I have a choice. . .
WhyIll be a wild Vaquero!