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Cowboy Poetry and Western Verse
OLD JETHRO
Harris Tobias
Me and old Jethro were ridin’ the line
Checkin’ the fences and such
The weather was hot but the horses were fine
And the cattle were down in the gultch
I looked at old Jethro, he never said much
He sat tall and straight as a pine
His face was tanned the color of snuff
And his clothes were covered with grime
Like many a cowpoke he was practically mute
As silent and still as a deer
But when he spoke he told you the truth
Usually something you needed to hear
The day was a scorcher, as I was sayin’,
I was dreamin’ about a cold drink
Maybe a swim I was hopin’ and prayin’
I needed to wash off my stink
We were guiding our horses down toward the creek
When Jethro began clearing his throat
I stopped in my tracks when he started to speak
Then he spat out a lugi and craoaked,
“You oughten go down to the crick in this heat
Them rocks are a crawlin’ with snakes.”
Then he turned his old mare and made his retreat
And left me to make my mistakes
I wasn’t afraid of a rattler or two
The water looked rippling and cool
So I did what I thought I needed to do
And guided my horse to the pool
I sat on a boulder and pulled off my boots
Then I took off my pants and my socks
I splashed around makin’ hollers and hoots
Before clammering back on the rocks
The water was cold and it gave me the shakes
So I lay back to soak up the sun
When I opened my eyes I was covered with snakes
And I couldn’t get to my gun
You wouldn’t believe how many there were
All sizes, all kinds and all shapes
What happened next is kind of a blur
I was naked and covered with snakes
I saw the situation gave me no choice
I thought I might die on the spot
That’s when I heard Old Jethro’s voice
Sayin’ “Kid are you comin’ or what?”
“I’m sorry, old man, but unless you are you blind
I’m surrounded by poisonous snakes
So do me a favor and just speak your mind.
Cause one bite is all that it takes.”
“Listen, he said, “no rattles, you fool.
Those snakes aint shakin their tails
No rattles, no rattlers that is the rule
You can trust me, it never fails.”
“So they aint rattlers,” is what I said
“I don’t see what the heck difference it makes
If one of them bites me, I’ll be just as dead
Tell my Ma I was done in by snakes.
So you just go on and leave me behind.
And I’ll just lay here and pray.”
“Look, kid, these snakes ain’t the poisonous kind
And the afternoon’s wastin’ away.”
Of course it turned out Old Jethro knew
That them snakes were as harmless as mice
Old Jethro usually said what was true
But he never said anything twice
I begged him not to tell anyone
He smiled and nodded his head
Then he turned his mare into the sun
And we resumed earnin’ our bread.
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