Welcome To The Bullpen
The Dancehall Girl the Stranger and the Bad Man
Randall Smith
Cast of Characters
Jason Reilly - Newly appointed Federal Marshall.
Kathryn “Peaches” Malloy Singer, Dancer, Server of good food at Juanita's Cantina.
Faro (Pharo) Spence - Murderous gang leader.
Juanita Owner of Juanita's Cantina (and Jason's cousin on his mothers side)
Kitty McCloud Beautiful daughter of Daniel (Digger) McClould , recently bushwhacked.
The Setup (A little history lesson)
On September 9th 1850, California officially became 31st State of the United States of America. Congress immediately approved funds to bring law and order to the new State......and Jason Reilly was the man for the job. He was born in Alta California..spoke fluent Spanish and French..And, was hell with a gun.
* It is well documented that Irish Nobility were Generals in the Spanish Army fighting against the English Crown.
Born to General Jeremiah Josiah Reilly and Donna Olivia Hildago Santana Ochoa (cousin to Queen Isabella II)....A son...Jason Jeremiah Reilly Hildalgo Santana Ochoa..Royalty of Spain was now in his blood. His father, Jeremiah Reilly, a General in the Spanish Army....His conquests and victories were so great that the King of Spain gave him all rights to Alta California.....in the largest land grant ever offered by a King to a Subject. With the collapse of Spain's hold on Alta California.....thieves of all kinds....claimed the land....and wealth of all the Spanish Landed Gentry. The Hidalgo's suffered...as did the Santana's.....only the Ochoa's survived by using both the law and a gun.
Young Jason Jeremiah Reilly Hildago Santana Ochoa....became a family gunman......to protect his history, his family and his home. Only one problem.....Jason liked killing....it was his darkest secret from Pagan myths.....of killing Norselanders.......and a fire of not natural causes.... that invaded his dreams. At the age of Thirty One.....Jason stood Six-Two and Two hundred pounds of lean muscle....Deep black hair and steely blue eyes...Educated in Paris...and had fought in Wars all around the Spanish Empire......for his Queen.
San Francisco, CA. Late 1849.....Kathryn “Peaches” Malloy.
Jason Reilly sat in the audience of the Fillmore Saloon......and watched this fiery redhead...sing and dance. He was dazed with her beauty.......Kathryn “Peaches” Malloy was the hit of the town......and way out of his league....but damn!...She sure is pretty he thought to himself. Irish she is.....Just look at that long, curly red hair and green eyes....she had to be spit fire for sure! Hot Damn! Jason sat in the front row of every performance she made, every night for a week...he was that infatuated with Peaches Malloy.....and she of coarse....she never even noticed him....
The Dance Hall Girl.....the Stranger....and the Bad Man.....San Francisco, CA 1948.
Kathryn “Peaches” Malloy....A green eyed beauty if there ever was one..... and Irish as the day is long... with a temper to prove it!
Get off me you Oaf....as Katheryn laughed and the audience roared with laughter with her....as “Peaches Malloy” danced and sang......down in the Barbary Coast of San Francisco.....it was a Friday night!
Faro Spence....wanted her! That long, curly red hair set a fire within him.....It was pure lust!
“Come here and kiss me”......Faro yelled while laughing.....Get over here! He roared as he grabbed for her......yet again......as she danced away from him..
It was just about time for “Miss Peaches” to go on stage.....Jason was determined to get a good seat tonight and had reserved his own table at a considerable price.. The Saloon was packed. He could hear the laughter halfway down the street as he approached the “Fillmore Saloon”. Jason stood just inside the Saloon's double bat-wing doors.....watching this big drunken thug grab at Peaches and abuse her verbally... He had had enough of this ruffian trying to man handle his “Peaches”......as he walked past the big man who was sitting at “His” table....Yelling obscenities at his “Peaches”......It happened so fast..no one really saw it....It was like a shadow.....an elbow to the back of the head at the base of the neck....and Fargo Spence was silenced.....for the time being....sprawled out on the floor.
Jason flipped a twenty dollar gold piece on the bar....”Get that piece of horse dung outta here, he told the bartender.....and with a motion...two men dragged Faro Spence out the back door and threw him into the alley....Kathryn noticed the stranger as he walked past her to the end of the bar.....he tipped his hat to her as he passed with a slight smile and a wink......and she smiled back. At the end of her show she was going to introduce herself to the stranger...she thought to herself...and she did!
An hour later....
The snake awoke! “What the Hell!” Faro Spence rubbed the back of his neck...He was laying in a pile of horse crap....then he remembered. That stranger blind sided me.....and his eyes filled with rage....His six foot-five frame filled the back alley doorway of Fillmore's....his chest was heaving as he looked around the Saloon for his “Peaches”.....and that Stranger....He had blood lust in his eyes....and he saw them.... She was dancing slowly with the stranger. He came at them.....in a thunder!.......Tossing away tables and chairs like toys....It was like a Spanish Bull Fight!. Jason, stepped side-ways and with little effort tripped the rushing bull of a drunkard and let his own momentum carry him head first into the Saloon's wall.....Just as Kathryn pulled her hide-out gun as the mad man rushed across the Saloon floor towards them.....she closed her eyes and fired.....her Derringer missed it's mark.....
Jason felt the bullet burn a path across the back of his head....The lights went out.....darkness....
”Oh my God!”...and Kathryn ran to him....had she really just killed the man who tried to save her?
Faro picked himself off the floor........and grabbed Peaches by the hair......”You're coming with me”....Peaches had no time to react or defend herself.....the brute hit her with a closed fist to the side of her head....and dragged out of the “Pantages”....and into the dark of the night.
“Senior Faro”.....Miguel Hernandez spoke....as he helped load the unconscious girl into a buckboard wagon.....”
“It is now.....if we are going to have our way with her”.....
“We!....Why you greasy Son of a Bitch...She's mine do ya hear me...She's mine!” Spence was a maniac with jealousy.....and the two fought...as “Peaches' lay moaning in back of the wagon....Faro Spence used his size and weight to his advantage against the Mexican......fists flew....and the Mexican took a beating....for his insolence...
A commanding voice can out of the darkness......“Okay! I've had enough of both of you!” It was Jason Reilly..standing there in the Alley.....covered in blood but very much alive. Faro spun around at the sound of the strangers voice....
“Why you.......” was all Faro would be able to say....as Jason made his move. His fist crashed into Faro's nose.....splattering it flat against his face....blood flew. Jason used both of his hands (slightly cupped) and smacked Faro has hard as he could against both ear drums......while putting one hell of a head butt into Faro's broken nose and smashed face.....again...Faro crumpled to the ground......and as a last insult......Jason laid a boot along side Faro's head just for good measure....as he passed out from loss of so much blood.......
In the early morning hours...
Katheryn woke to find herself in her own hotel room...
“Miss Peaches......Kathryn?....You awake? You're going to be okay.” One of the dance hall girls was holding a cold compress to Kathryn's swollen right eye and cheek....as she lay in her bed. .. “That Stranger sure did some damage to that low life drunk last night...he saved your life ya know.”
“He's alive?” Kathryn asked. “Yes Miss.” “Where is he?” Peaches moaned. “He's down at the Doc's getting his head stitched up.” The girl replied. “Now you just rest...okay sweetly....you rest now.” And Kathryn “Peaches” Malloy closed her eyes and slept.
Faro Spence was now uglier than ever......and meaner.....but he knew when to let loose of a bad situation and headed South.....Miguel Hernandez followed his boss. Meanwhile, Jason Reilly sat on the Doc's operating table......Twenty stitches sewed his scalp back together from “Peaches” .22 caliber Derringer.
The Doc's office....
“Don't think you should be doing any more fighting any time soon”...The Doc said to Jason.....as he pulled tight the last stitch. You have one hell of a concussion and you've lost a lot of blood. I suggest you rest up for at least a week.”
“Doc, do you happen to know how Miss Malloy might be?”.....Jason asked. “Why yes I do....I tended to her just before you came to my office. Pretty girl....she's got one heck of a shiner....other than that, she's just fine”.....and that will be twenty dollars please. Jason flipped the Doc a “Double Eagle” gold piece....and passed out once again....
In the meantime......Kathryn “Peaches” Malloy sat at her vanity.....her eye was swollen shut....no amount of makeup was going to fix this.....she thought to herself. Then came a knock on her door. It was the Saloon's owner, Bert Tilley......
“Miss Peaches.....I have to ask you to either pay up for last nights damages or leave my premises”....He had his hand out. Kathryn “Peaches” Malloy caught the first stage to Los Angeles.....the very next day.
One year later, late in the evening.....somewhere high the Sierra Nevada's, the year was 1851.
Kitty McCloud, Daughter of Digger McCloud, sat quietly near the mines entrance, hidden from view. A .50 caliber Sharps was cradled in her lap....Digger lay dead from a bushwhackers bullet in front of the mine's shaft. As far as she knew, the snake of a bushwhacker didn't know she was there. It was getting dark and she knew what she had to do. She had to find a way to get to town and find help.
That was not going to be easy by no means.
Kitty was a pretty blonde and blue eyed young girl of just sixteen. She had been going to school at the old Spanish Mission in San Juan Capistrano when she got word that her father needed her. Digger felt it was as safe a place as he could find while he went off in search of California's Gold fields...That was more than four years ago....and he had finally found it! He had paid the price for coming into the sleepy village a few days earlier to buy supplies. For payment, he offered up to the store keeper a granite rock as big as your fist...emblazoned with veins of quartz and gold. Under the cover of darkness, Kitty made her way to Casitas Springs and the back door of Juanita's Cantina....A warm, safe place or so she thought.
Faro Spence was hold up in Casitas Springs.....A small town located high in the mountains of the Sierra Nevada's, fifty miles East of Pueblo Los Angeles. A quiet stop for Westbound travelers seeking a faster route to the Pueblos of Santa Fe Springs and Los Angeles (City of the Angels). Faro had made Juanita's Cantina his home base of outlaw operations..and hide out from a certain US Federal Marshall.
Faro Spence stood at least six foot five and was maybe two hundred and fifty pounds of pure meanness. Dirty black hair framed an ugly nose flattened against his face.. A former Ships Captain, Slaver, Murderer and Thief. Faro had gotten into more trouble than he could handle down San Diego way and found Casitas Springs to be very lucrative and remote. He and his men (most of them mercenaries and on the run)...had taken over Casitas Springs and made it their personal property. Robbing, killing and plundering was all in a days fun for this bunch
“Miguel” Spence said quietly, spilling his drink on his chest as he threw down yet another shot of rot gut whiskey.....”Get over to Digger's place.....I want me that Gal of his.....and him dead.....got it! “Si Senior Spence”.....and Miguel rode out with murder in his heart....and a little lust for the little blonde girl as well.
A new Law in town.
Two days ago I walked my big Ol' Roan into Casitas Springs.....I'd been passing this way for a couple of years now and it wasn't the same sleepy Mexican village I remembered...Juanita's Cantina was at the edge of the town...and I was hungry. I just wanted to have some of Juanita's Cowboy Tacos and maybe a shot or two of her homemade Tequila...and... I wondered if Peaches, was still serving up meals and entertaining everyone with her songs....as she did last Spring. But that's another story. As I said, I was just passing through and I had a long way to go yet. Ya see, there was this new village established by the Mormons, called Las Vegas and they needed Guides to take travelers through the Mohave Desert and over the High Sierra Nevada Mountains...only one problem....lately, most of the folks making the trip never ever seemed to make it past Casitas Springs.....and that was a problem for the newly established State of California....And Federal Marshall Jason Reilly.
On a mission.....
As I rambled into town.....I just happened to see this pretty little Filly.....(blonde and blue eyed).... carrying a Sharps .50 caliber rifle. She kept looking back over her shoulder.....and darn it...I could see that she was crying....Something was very wrong. Me being me, I took in the scene.....and unstrung my brand new side arm, a Colt Revolving Belt Pistol of Naval Caliber. (.36) and slung my reins around a hitching post. Silently, I stepped into a darkened doorway....Two hombres were on my left...across the muddy street....another two were just up ahead on my right...astride strong and nimble Mustangs...this was trouble about to happen......Damn! Why me Lord! Then is big guy......and I mean really tall..... stepped out of my favorite Cantina.....and into the darkness of the street.....staggering.....He was obviously three sheets to the wind...and no threat to me..
“Kitty McCloud! “ he bellowed......”Ya got a choice! Marry me tonight or I'll let my men to have you in the morning....Either way you might like it”....as Faro Spence swaggered down the boardwalk...drunk....and laughing....a very mean laugh. .
I could see that these Hombres were meaning to take this little filly one way or another.....On a Saturday night, right here in Casitas springs....and no one cared. All the shops were closed and streets empty...How had Casitas Springs become this way I wondered...Lawless and Immoral.
Okay, here goes, and I took a deep breath and stepped out of the shadows.......My .36 caliber Colt Revolver in hand...Sometimes ya just gotta make your own law.
“Now Boys......Either you pull against me...or you don't.....I don't much care. But you ain't going to be breathing much longer if ya touch that there young lady. ” I told'em in a clear and strong voice so they'd know my meaning.....These two greasy sons of bitches....laughed at me...it was two against one and they saw me as an easy target. In half a second they both pulled down on me......Three guns exploded in the night!....Theirs and mine! But it was their blood that mixed with the mud of the street that night.
I turned to face down the other two, soon to be dead, Bandito's.....and took dead aim.
Their guns were pulled...and pointed straight at me.....One Hombre did manage to get a shot off but he missed....and paid the price....The other died instantly with a bullet to his brain bucket. When it was done, two more outlaws were dead and I still had two cartridges left in my Colt.....The tall man lay in the street....was passed out...the drunkard. I walked over to him. It's was Faro Spence! And I would know him anywhere. I kicked him aside the head just to make sure he had a headache in the morning....again.
“I'll deal with later”.....Marshall Rielly thought to himself.
“Senior Reilly?...Jason?” Juanita called out into the darkness. “Are you hurt?...No....Oh good...Are you hungry? I have told Miss Peaches to make a meal for you”. I could hear a faint hint of humor in her voice.
“Juanita.....Is Peaches still mad at me? Ya got any more of those Cowboy Tacos left?” as he followed Jaunita back into his home away from home. “Yes and Yes Senior Jason......Oh, and can I say...You need a bath! Come with me”......as she lead Jason into the warm Cantina...for some good food and a nice hot bath.
(Oh yes...I should mention that Juanita is my cousin....on my mothers side...Royalty reduced to Inn Keeping...hence...Juanita's Cantina).
The steam from the brass tubs hot water filled the air.....Jason was finally relaxing....with a nice Cuban cigar Jaunita had given him.
“Jason? Can I come in”...he heard a soft voice speaking from outside his room. “I have some food for you. It was Peaches.....he knew that sweet voice.
“Baby....Sweetness...Honey …..Jason called out....Get your sweet smile in here”....Kathryn “Peaches” Malloy opened the door carrying a tray of Jason's favorite “Cowboy Tacos....She took the cigar out of his mouth....and threw it away.....and then kissed him.
“So, it seems you're not mad at me anymore.” Jason smiled.
“Oh I'm still mad at you....but that's not going to keep me from loving you”.....Kathryn “Peaches” Malloy whispered.
Faro Spence......still lay in the muddy street of Casitas Springs...that is until morning when Marshall Reilly threw his sorry arse in Jail. Oh wait, there wasn't a jail in Casitas Springs....It was Jaunita's root cellar. It had a lock.
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REVIEW 1
I have to be honest here. You have the makings of a good story, but I find several faults I suggest you deal with.
First I suggest you use commas instead of ….. to break sentences.
Your title, IMO, is too long, reminded me of ‘The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.’
Several alternatives are available.
‘Molly, Faro and Jason’. ‘Dancehall Girl’. Any short story has to have attention grabbing title.
My suggestion for a first paragraph is this
Bloodshot eyes, filled with lust, followed the redheaded dance girl’s every movement. Faro Spence had the hots for “Peaches’ Malloy. (Followed by a brief description.)
You get right into the story and the reader wants to know how this situation ends.
Edit, edit, edit. There are too many typos in your presentation. Check every sentence carefully. In my work, I ask someone to read my story and give me suggestions. Others can weed out mistakes you miss.
Remember you are writing a short story. Yours seems to be a history lesson for the first few lines or directions for a stage play. All the births and history are better woven piece by piece into the tale.
Go on line and use a spell and grammar checker. I suggest you follow the rules of writing short stories. Instead of many items, I suggest you open with a paragraph to catch the attention of your readers.
Changing from third to first person is distracting. Use either way, but do not change in mid story.
Your first list of characters shows spelling of McCloud as McClould in the next part of the sentence.
You show weight using capitals Two Hundred etc. Lose them.
I usually try to be candid and show what I think your writing should contain. You have far too many things for me to critique.
You may think I am being harsh, but my experience tells me, a near flawless M/S has more chance of acceptance on a paying site than one with many errors.
Please take heed, because I feel you have great potential in the future.
Good luck.
L. Roger Quilter.
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