Talk of the Town

By Sergio Schaefer

This snow's been fallin' all day
and this is the coldest yet.
This outfit's had a rough time 
gettin' 'em set.
A drive's comin' and time's short.
All this herd needs is a trail brand.
Last month we were in Texas,
riding in the sand.
My partner almost crippled his horse, 
ropin' a heifer down,
and came close to goin' with it, 
when we all went to town.

You gotta know we got crazy
and lost all our sense.
We got to drinkin' and went outside
and 'ole Whiskers took out a fence!
His mount got away from him
as a shot rang out.
He fired his six gun with glee.
His eyes all cross and red,
God knowin' he couldn't see.
His horse ran for a house.
The one the barkeep's said to own.
In his saloon, above the bar,
he kept his ownership papers well shown.

You see, it wasn't just a fence.
But, after it fell down,
Whiskers horse ran for the porch, 
kicked up his heels and started spinnin' 'round!
While all this was goin,
without a moments pause,
I fell backwards laughing.
Corn whiskey helping the cause.
This horse was stubborn and stout.
Whiskers on his back screaming
"TARNATIONS, CUT IT OUT!"
By then, I had tears in my eyes, 
while I proceeded to soak my drawers.
Whiskers got clean bucked off,
staggering up and rubbing his sores.

The horse, meanwhile, continued his fit.
Outright and QUITE steady.
Out the door came a woman,
the barkeeps wife, named Betty.
In her hand there hung a lantern,
shining bright and wide.
The horse flat kicked her arm
and threw IT to the side!
This, in turn, started the fire
in the yard , by the house.
Taking all it wanted,
INCLUDING the shack owned by her spouse!

Whiskers ran for it in fear.
He wanted no part of THIS!
Knowing good and well,
his reward would NOT be a kiss.
A few days passed by
and all went pretty good.
Work went on an no sheriff came.
So, we kept on like we should.
Blackie, our foreman, went to town,
to see if the smoke had cleared.
He went to the saloon, for a drink,
and all was NOT as feared.
It seems, he heard the regulars,
talking of that night.
Asking if those guys were anywhere in sight?
I was odd, to say the least, 
That a reward was overdue.
The boys had burned down a cathouse
and the barkeep up and flew!
Betty was NOT his wife.
But, a lady of the night.
And the sheriff's been tryin' years
to get them out without a fight.
So, 'old Whiskers done that town a favor.
Burnin' that house down.
And Whiskers crazy horse,
is NOW the talk of the town.